Monday, February 28, 2011

'Educators' and their toys

In the IT business one often acquires retired equipment, usually PCs, monitors, etc. that are well past the threshold of usability due to antiquated specs. However, with a bit of elbow grease they can be made into perfectly usable machines for users on a budget and/or those who are content to run older operating systems, applications, etc.

I once had a stable of PCs such as these and offered them to my cousin who is an elementary school principal. My thought was that they might be useful as platforms for simple scholastic math, science, history, etc. programs.

Without malice he laughed right in my face. "Have you seen our computer lab?" he replied. "We have 30 state-of-the-art machines, flat-panel monitors, the works." Momentarily stunned, I mentally added it to the list of goodies lavished upon schools that are never mentioned when teachers and their sympathizers have a moan about wages and benefits.

In Morgantown the battle is over a new school. Not just another soulless consolidation school rammed down the throats of students, parents and those paying the freight (i.e. property taxpayers) - no, this would be a new GREEN school. Not the color green, mind, but a school with all manner of energy-saving systems built with environmentally-friendly construction materials (all very well provided you don't notice the chemical holocausts foisted upon dirt-poor Chinese villages where those green batteries are made). Scratch an 'educator' and you expose a liberal which means they are still true believers in the global warming hoax. A green school, therefore, represents the apex of all their various fantasies: moral superiority, children indoctrinated into the AGW myth simply by walking through the door each day, and a show pony for school board members, district administrators and others who - let's face it - aren't terribly interested in the three R's.

Best of all, the feds are paying for it! You see, espousing the proper viewpoints on environmental issues isn't just for cocktail parties and student projects entitled 'How Mom & Dad Are Killing The Earth.' In this case it actually gets you a school built courtesy of Uncle Sam! Skylights, fluorescent lights, recirculated air, etc. But wait, you say, weren't these part of the first wave of 'new' schools built in the 60s and 70s? Why yes they were, but we didn't call them GREEN! A green school is certified by, er, experts on greenness. Their serene, benevolent knowledge of what is good for Mother Earth is self-proclaimed but when Uncle Sam's dollars are on offer you don't question the experts!

In a university town the pressure for the local school system to keep up with the college Joneses on the political correctness front is immense which is why superintendent Frank Devono was over the moon when handed an opportunity to out-green the greens on campus! You shall go to the Earth Day Ball!

There were the small matters of finding a site for the school and rounding up the students whose good fortune it would be to be photographed entering this shrine of greenness! The educators decided that two elementary schools would be closed and their student bodies consolidated into one new, vibrant green group.

In West Virginia school consolidation has been a shambles especially at the secondary level. Communities treasured their local high schools as the nexus - along with churches - of local life. The schools also had something church did not - sports. Pride in the local athletic teams and year-round displays of colors, logos and nicknames gave each small town and its residents tucked away in the mountains an identity even (or especially) when they ventured to the bigger cities.

Politicians, always looking to combine their voter base in order to make pandering an easier task, announced that school consolidation was the way forward. We can offer more programs and more opportunities, they said. National and state educational 'experts' (them again) agreed. Nobody bothered to ask the teachers, students and parents who liked their existing, if aging, schools and if they did ask the answers were ignored. Who cared if teachers did a fantastic job of mentoring students in and out of the classroom simply because they knew their families personally and felt a sense of duty beyond lesson plans? This was progress, dammit, and a sense of community identity was nothing alongside the chance to cut a ribbon in front of a soulless concrete and glass County Consolidated High School. And so community identities were stripped overnight, the usual meaningless, inoffensive generic nicknames like Eagles, Falcons, or Knights were chosen (no Applemen or Hillbillies or Farmers for them thank you very much) and the daily nightmare of busing kids across rugged terrain began. Majestic and unique architecture might have been appropriate for the first half of the 20th Century but consolidated schools relied on a bloodless, practical geometry that would have brought a tear to the eye of any good East German.

Those community high schools produced alumni with a great affection for their school, teachers and classmates and reunions are chock-full of fond remembrances. Reunions at consolidated schools, when they are held and, more crucially, when they are actually attended, have all the charm of your last trip to Wal-Mart. Sheer numbers mean that many students never get acquainted even after attending for four years - what would they have to reminisce about?

But consolidation, like green, is good, they tell us. Oh, but hang on. It seems that many parents, some of them no doubt products of consolidated schools, want to keep their neighborhood elementary! They like knowing all the kids and their parents. They like having the school within walking distance or a quick car commute. And these parents have no interest in a new school elsewhere, green or any other color.

They're bucking the system! They should be grateful that their offspring will be fodder for all those green dreams! Don't they know the oceans will boil, the skies will rain fire and the polar bears will be in for a long swim if they don't get with the program?

And then there's the small matter of a site. West Virginia isn't called The Mountain State because of one or two impressive but isolated mountain ranges. Instead, there is a sizeable hill in just about every direction. Clearing and grading land parcels for large developments like retail or schools is expensive and time-consuming. It just so happens that a large, flat parcel of land is equidistant from the two schools marked for closure. And the land is used for agronomy work by the university which means it’s already timbered and relatively flat! Surely they would part with it especially given the politically correct mission of a green school.

Oh but hang on (again). That site just happens to be adjacent to the T-junction from hell known as the intersection of the Mileground and WV Rte 705. A staggering volume of vehicles both commercial and private pass through this intersection on the way to and from the university, the hospital complex, the offices, banks and clinics surrounding them, etc. It’s not unusual to see cars stacked up in the left-turn lane for 0.5 miles (despite a total lack of oncoming traffic – it’s a T-junction after all). When they added a right-turn lane (a simple and practical act) all were so grateful that they actually dedicated it and erected a sign! Other places have entire roads and streets named after people but this particular bottleneck was so bad that they named just one lane after a person!

It’s an area, then, that sees a near-constant stream of idling vehicles, many of them pickup trucks, minivans, and SUVs – in short, a greenie’s nightmare. Anyone with or without a lick of common sense can see that adding a school with its morning-and-afternoon bus and parent-vehicle traffic to the mix will convert a bottleneck into total gridlock. Imagine waiting 20 minutes to make a left turn only to be held for another 10 minutes by a crossing guard while 15 school buses rumble out of the parking lot. 30 minutes to travel less than one mile all while burning gasoline costing $3.50/gal or more!

“Madness,” you might think and rightly so. But madness is already part of everyday life for some in the form of AGW hysteria. The site will not change. The school will be green even if it’s surrounded by very brown, black and grey shades of vehicle exhaust!

The parents (the ones who are supposedly too apathetic to care and whose role as providers of nourishment is to be supplanted by the schools) opposed to the school are challenging the establishment and location of the green school. Those ingrates are asking legitimate procedural and legal questions about the actions of the superintendent and the board. And what’s this? FOIA requests? How dare they! And so the superintendent decides – independent of any precedent, rule, law or policy – that each request will cost a nominal fee for processing, postage, etc. 35 cents here, 50 cents there. Stamps aren’t cheap, he says. But wait – aren’t these requests being filed, filled and returned electronically i.e. without the use of any paper or postal mail at all (very green, you might say)?

But it doesn’t matter to the ‘educators.’ Their show pony, their calling card, their ticket to hosannas from the greater green movement (they dream of Obama attending the grand opening but they don’t dare verbalize it yet) is being threatened, which means a serious digging in of heels. Green schools may be the future, but bureaucracy is a time-tested specialty of the educational establishment. Nobody, except perhaps the DMV or the Post Office, can sap the enemy’s morale like a front-line secretary in a government office who will demand forms, signatures, stamps, approvals, and photocopies until the enemy forgets why he asked in the first place or at least is very sorry he did so. You see, green is good. You might even say green is God to some people and they will act and react with a distinctly religious fervor when their faith is questioned.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The dramatic opening

Staff reporter Brandy Brubaker occasionally drives me to distraction with her writing style and today is a perfect example.

Headline: Downtown club loses license

"The liquor license of a downtown
nightclub has been suspended
during an investigation into the
alleged serving of alcohol to underage
patrons and an alleged sexual
assault involving a patron.

State Alcohol Beverage Control
Administration (ABCA) officials
suspended the liquor license held
by Tabu, on Chestnut Street, until
further notice, ABCA Spokesman
Gig Robinson said Monday."

Why, oh why, oh why are we forced to wait until halfway through the second paragraph to discover the name of the club?

There are only three possible reasons for this silly device:

1) It's part of AP style. To hell with AP style. AP style is boring, stilted and verbose for the sake of verbosity.
2) Purely to fill column inches i.e. 250 words of fact stretched to 500 words of prose
3) Ms Brubaker, her editor and/or others believe it adds drama, tension, suspense, etc.

I'm partial to UK newspapers for their terse, direct style. They would have identified Tabu in the first paragraph, perhaps the first sentence.

In fact, the second paragraph should be the first paragraph. In fact, the first paragraph should be struck entirely except for the mention of underage patrons and an alleged sexual assault - items which could have been incorporated into the second paragraph.

Maddening.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Stefanie Loh moves on

In a move that was kept as quiet as the relocation of the Baltimore Colts, (former) WVU football beat writer for the DP has moved up the road to Harrisburg, PA's Patriot-News. She is now writing on their high school sports (!?) and minor league baseball (!?).

A quick Google shows that this paper had advertised a vacancy and it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to work out the rest.

One could say that Harrisburg is a larger market (if we include Lebanon, Carlisle, York, etc.) but it's in the sports wilderness given the huge Philadelphia market to the east.

College football is one subject where a beat writer can gain some traction and build a name by being associated with a particular program as the go-to person for information. It works in countless college towns in the SEC and Big 12. But the subject never changes - literally - so one must be committed to the cause.

But Ms. Loh was a West Coaster and Morgantown was almost certainly going to a be a short-term proposition for her. I'm sure there was more than a bit of culture shock upon arrival.

On balance, she did her best and it generally was good enough but the DP continues to suffer from Lack of Institutional Memory syndrome. There is nobody there - with the possible exception of Todd Murray - who can personally recall people, games, stories and other moments in Mountaineer history and this lack of historical perspective, by definition, hinders any ability to provide context for the events of the present. 'History repeating itself' and/or 'exorcising the demons of the past' are stock constructs for game stories yet the lack of experience at the DP means they can't even manage to rely on these hoary cliches.

Ms. Loh was often reduced to pumping the sunshine for the only coach she had worked with - Bill Stewart. Stewart's optimism in the face of very long odds can be endearing at times but can also be a bit maddening and Ms. Loh occasionally demonstrated symptoms of madness-by-association when defending what was, at best, a mediocre team and a string of uninspiring opponents. It was all borne out by the egg laid on the 50 yard line of the Gator Bowl (next to the flaming spear planted by Coach Bowden).

To be fair, the beat writer had a frequently thankless job by playing up the positive qualities of many WVU football recruits while ignoring or sugar-coating their shortcomings (criminal backgrounds, broken homes, children fathered out of wedlock by multiple women, academic deficiencies). One can only imagine being instructed to submit 500 words on Johnny Linebacker-loves-his-mom and attempting to make it seem compelling.

The bread-and-water rations at the DP appear to be the meal of the day, every day, and it remains to be seen if a football writer will be brought in or if musical chairs (don't forget to take one away!) will be employed to shuffle assignments yet again. Todd Murray has, either out of common sense or necessity, been assigned to spring football along with his editor Drew Rubenstein.


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Headlines and Priorities (?)

Lessee....West Virginia University's men's basketball team is a #2 seed in the NCAA Tournament and won their first game in this eagerly-anticipated event.

What did the sports editor select as the lead story on the sports page? Baseball. In March. During the regular season. Against noted baseball power Eastern Michigan from the sports hotbed of Ypsilanti. Oh - there's a wrestling blurb in there also but it requires moving to a jump page.

Oh - look - there's the basketball story halfway down the page! It's the USA Today Attention Deficit & Hyperactive Disorder school of layout and design! Here a column! There a sidebar! There a teaser for stories inside - but you must travel all the way to Page 6-B for coverage of the most important sporting event this month!

Just imagine if the critical (apparently) stories on college baseball were moved to the prime (apparently) real estate on Page 6-B! Why you might even have enough room to publish the entire game story without the need for a jump page, thus serving your readers AND making your layout less chaotic! What's that? Yes - you can also move a non-story about non-WVU players being paraded like cattle at the stockyard in anticipation of the NFL Draft.

Also included is a story on a WVU recruit. But he's still in high school! Before we cover the people who haven't put on the uniform yet why not cover those who are currently wearing the uniform?

Wow - now there's plenty of room - even for those whose common sense has temporarily disappeared!

Newspaper types will say, no doubt, that 'readers want to see all the previous day's results at a glance.' Erm, no. Readers want to see the IMPORTANT results. The opening round of the NCAA Tournament involving the #2 seeded college team is important. Baseball against a MAC school is not important. Football players running around cones in the off-season is even less important.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

And the wall came down....

Let's see if I've got this recipe correct:

1) Take a steep valley previously only suitable for use as pastureland by some presumably agile cattle (with the proverbial one pair of legs shorter than the other).

2) Build hundreds, if not thousands, of student condos using the cheapest construction materials available. Perch them precariously on hillsides.

3) Clad most/all of it in that boring, tacky, ubiquitous tan vinyl siding.

4) Ignore minor details like draining and a road actually capable of handling the traffic to, from and past your development. Hint: the golf cart path known as West Run Road wasn't and isn't up to the job.

5) Inconvenience everyone who uses nearby roads by failing utterly to plan for the traffic impact. Rely on local traffic engineers to stick a traffic light up thus turning one bottleneck into four.

Well, the karma has been building and while nobody wants to see any injuries, the cynical developers may be starting to see their bill come due as nature and gravity are starting to push back. Here's a pic of a retaining wall that couldn't.



Saturday, January 9, 2010

Fonts: Back To The Future



Football season is over but the DP have apparently punted on their revamped column-body font, dumping the new serif-heavy, smaller font and bringing back their old reliable. Curiously, they are still using the new font for subheadlines.

The new font lasted only 5 days - the January 6 edition uses the old font.

With or without the reversion, the conversion was hardly 'seamless to the eye' as editor Geri Ferrara claimed. It was, in fact, quite jarring and bringing back the old font is unassailable evidence that readers, employees or both decided the new font was unacceptable.

While I applaud the move it's a rather quick and humiliating climbdown considering all the breathless hype trotted out by DP editors & management less than one week ago.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's smaller - but it is improved?

The DP has joined the huge number of dailies in trimming itself down from traditional broadsheet width to a more narrow format.

Nothing new under the sun of course but newspaper hacks cannot resist the urge to imply that this somehow qualifies them for collective sainthood. Cue the greenie litany: less ink, less newsprint and soy-based ink (yummy)!

This new skinny paper is a wonderful thing. How do we know? Because the people at the paper say so dammit! Editor Geri Ferrara and her lieutenants may have fewer columns to work with but that still gives them plenty of room to gush: dedication to local news, increased ad value (read: they will charge more for less), streamlined (presumably for the car-based carriers who must toss each copy), reader friendly. Yes, reader friendly - this paper now purrs like a cat when you open it up! No more paper cuts or stains on hands! In fact it may have curative properties but the FDA has not evaluated such a claim.

Back to reality...the decreasing size of newspapers mirrors perfectly the decline in the role they play in news coverage and in the (abusive) position they have played in influencing public opinion. Even papers 'leaning right' typically support every and any government boondoggle and expenditure. One-horse towns buying property, police cruisers, computers and other things they don't understand let alone use is just ducky with the DP. With six columns or five you can be sure the DP will never call for an accounting of all those dollars flowing into the system but never flowing back out.

As for the physical look of the paper the other big change is the standard typeface used. Inexplicably the DP has bucked the Internet-inspired trend of clean, neat fonts that aid legibility even if they lack a certain artistry. Instead, they have gone with a serif-heavy font (i.e., lots of little lines, wings and so forth on the letters) and a surfeit of mysterious, inconsistent spaces between words and letters that harkens back to the age of manual typesetting when type had to be 'slugged' in order to create clean column edges. A charitable description might be text produced using an early version of PageMaker for the original Macintosh computer. It now looks like text in a high school paper.

I haven't yet mustered the energy to compare individual news items from the old and new DP to see if this brave new version is actually an excuse to also cut down on article length but obviously fewer columns mean less real estate on offer for all stories.